Reality is a slap in the face

I will be 40 next january and the reality of it is really stinging. I had a friend that, I remember when she turned 41 about 4 years ago how she reacted, I laughed at her and thought that she was overreacting, I however, was 35 at the time, age, phhh! Big deal, don't bother me none...(yet). So, the reality of my aging set in about a year ago when I first noticed more gray hairs coming in, that's ok, more of an excuse to color & highlight my hair! Then I noticed my eyes where looking kinda tired, that will be ok, I just need more sleep and I'll be good as new! Then, last summer after I got "let go" from my job and was unemployed forEVER I started gaining weight, lots of weight, and I began to feel like I was aging drastically. The reality really set in when I started going to cosmetology school last year, which I've wanted to do for years but never got around to it. By the time I started, most of the other students had parents the same age as me and one girl even started calling me her mom!!! SLAP! So now I am spending day after day feeling fat and old, and I keep dwelling on it and trying to figure out what to do, I don't know if I should try to fix my hair and dress to feel/look younger or does that make me look trashy because it's obvious that I'm not young and should be dressing my age? I try out the older more sophisticated look, I cut my hair to above my shoulders, but I still cannot totally cut it off I don't like it too short, and I try to dress my age, and some days I like it and then some days I look in the mirror and go "wow, do I look old, I gotta get out my hip clothes and jeans!" So, right now, I guess you would say I am in the middle of an identity crisis and I don't claim to have any one certain style. Well, back to work for me!